Bumper Stickers
What shall I write about today? I could write about President Bush’s speech from last night, or the popes death, but I don’t think I will. I had another shocking realization the other day about women, but I can’t remember what it was or I’d write about it. Stupid Bumper Stickers, now this is a topic worth writing about.
So sometime last my buddy and I are hanging out and he asks me how I’d feel about chipping in with him in having a few hundred bumper stickers made. They would read “Bigot” to be placed on anything bearing a Confederate Flag. He wanted to make another one that said something else to combat yet another type of bumper sticker, but I can’t remember what it said. I pointed out that having a Confederate Flag doesn’t have to mean racism. It could just mean they really liked the Dukes of Hazzard. His idea was to spend a Saturday driving through mall parking lots looking for people that have bumper stickers like the Confederate Flag and place our “Bigot” bumper sticker over most of it. I have to admit it sound like fun, but I wasn’t really committed to spending time and money on it.
However later in the week I saw a bumper sticker that read “Equal Rights for Unborn Women.” I can’t believe that someone can have such an utter lack of intelligence that they would postulate that abortion is sexually discriminating against women. My first thoughts were to get bumper stickers made that read “Stop Abortions; Kill Women” I had a few ideas, then I was going to drive in front of her on the way to work. Then I decided that I like my friends idea. Our plan is now to make bumper stickers that read “Censored for Stupidity” and place them on peoples cars.
I have heard that some states are trying to outlaw offensive language and bumper stickers. I have heard that some states have. There was a case back east were kids were fined for using foul language. It is my utmost belief that the freedom of speech protects both of them. It is my firm belief that freedom of speech makes this country worth fighting for. However, when this was written not many people used offensive language and there was no such thing as a bumper sticker. I think it was referring more to having opposing ideas such as Pro-life/Pro-choice. I don’t think that we should make laws with regards to foul language or bumper stickers as this takes away ones freedom to be offensive. It would also make this little bumper sticker vandalism idea a moot point, and it just sounds soooo Fun.
Understanding Men:
This is a growing epidemic among women. Let me set the scene for you. A man and his wife (gf) whatever are driving. The guy is quiet and then those dreaded words come “Honey, what are you thinking about?” Firstly if we felt like talking about what we were thinking about then wouldn’t we be talking about it? However that is not my point. The problem is that look of shock, disgust, dismay, etc…on the females face when we tell them. Ladies you know what I’m talking about, don’t deny it. I don’t know why it is, but it always seems like when men are quiet, the women in their lives like to think that men are thinking of new applications for Einstine’s Theories, hiding something from them, etc…
Here is the truth ladies, 99% of the time we are thinking about sex, something we need to do (like an oil change), or something stupid (like I wonder if I can make a light sabor). Now here is the thing. Men have experienced these looks of shock and dismay, and we have learned to lie about what we are thinking in order to avoid them, or we say “nothing.” “Nothing” is sort of a half truth. What we should really say is “Nothing that we think you’ll find important.” We don’t because then we get that age old argument “who are you to decide what I will and won’t find important?” Ladies, it’s not that we are trying to tell you what to think, it’s just that we know from experience that the odds are not in our favor that women will find what we happen to be thinking about to be important. We are guys, we rarely think about relationships, or how to improve them with few exceptions. Namely if we are thinking about a relationship it’s usually for something about sex ie how can I get more sex out of this relationship, or where do we still need to have sex (location), or how the hell can I get out of this relationship. How many women care about Star Wars, or Star Trek, or GI Joe, or the newest gun, computer, stereo speaker, (toys) etc…
So ladies beware, if you ask a man what he is thinking, don’t be surprised to get sex or GI Joe as your answer.
Family Circus:
Me:
Well I’ve been working a lot. It turns out that I owe the Oklahoma a little over a grand in taxes because my employer stop withholding for OK. My friend Matt is finally coming to visit next month.
Parents:
They are moving here on June 1st. Please keep them in your prayers.
The Hecks:
Brian enlisted the help of TJ and I to surprise my sister Beth for her Birthday. It worked. I’ll tell you about it next time.
Sadie’s Kennel:
Well I couldn’t go for walks the last few days because I skinned my paw. It hurt and Jesse had to cut off the flapper. I also have the sneaking suspicion that Jesse will be taking me to the vet for shots soon. I hate shots. I can’t wait for the weekend, because my paw feels much better, I have a lot of play time to make up.
So sometime last my buddy and I are hanging out and he asks me how I’d feel about chipping in with him in having a few hundred bumper stickers made. They would read “Bigot” to be placed on anything bearing a Confederate Flag. He wanted to make another one that said something else to combat yet another type of bumper sticker, but I can’t remember what it said. I pointed out that having a Confederate Flag doesn’t have to mean racism. It could just mean they really liked the Dukes of Hazzard. His idea was to spend a Saturday driving through mall parking lots looking for people that have bumper stickers like the Confederate Flag and place our “Bigot” bumper sticker over most of it. I have to admit it sound like fun, but I wasn’t really committed to spending time and money on it.
However later in the week I saw a bumper sticker that read “Equal Rights for Unborn Women.” I can’t believe that someone can have such an utter lack of intelligence that they would postulate that abortion is sexually discriminating against women. My first thoughts were to get bumper stickers made that read “Stop Abortions; Kill Women” I had a few ideas, then I was going to drive in front of her on the way to work. Then I decided that I like my friends idea. Our plan is now to make bumper stickers that read “Censored for Stupidity” and place them on peoples cars.
I have heard that some states are trying to outlaw offensive language and bumper stickers. I have heard that some states have. There was a case back east were kids were fined for using foul language. It is my utmost belief that the freedom of speech protects both of them. It is my firm belief that freedom of speech makes this country worth fighting for. However, when this was written not many people used offensive language and there was no such thing as a bumper sticker. I think it was referring more to having opposing ideas such as Pro-life/Pro-choice. I don’t think that we should make laws with regards to foul language or bumper stickers as this takes away ones freedom to be offensive. It would also make this little bumper sticker vandalism idea a moot point, and it just sounds soooo Fun.
Understanding Men:
This is a growing epidemic among women. Let me set the scene for you. A man and his wife (gf) whatever are driving. The guy is quiet and then those dreaded words come “Honey, what are you thinking about?” Firstly if we felt like talking about what we were thinking about then wouldn’t we be talking about it? However that is not my point. The problem is that look of shock, disgust, dismay, etc…on the females face when we tell them. Ladies you know what I’m talking about, don’t deny it. I don’t know why it is, but it always seems like when men are quiet, the women in their lives like to think that men are thinking of new applications for Einstine’s Theories, hiding something from them, etc…
Here is the truth ladies, 99% of the time we are thinking about sex, something we need to do (like an oil change), or something stupid (like I wonder if I can make a light sabor). Now here is the thing. Men have experienced these looks of shock and dismay, and we have learned to lie about what we are thinking in order to avoid them, or we say “nothing.” “Nothing” is sort of a half truth. What we should really say is “Nothing that we think you’ll find important.” We don’t because then we get that age old argument “who are you to decide what I will and won’t find important?” Ladies, it’s not that we are trying to tell you what to think, it’s just that we know from experience that the odds are not in our favor that women will find what we happen to be thinking about to be important. We are guys, we rarely think about relationships, or how to improve them with few exceptions. Namely if we are thinking about a relationship it’s usually for something about sex ie how can I get more sex out of this relationship, or where do we still need to have sex (location), or how the hell can I get out of this relationship. How many women care about Star Wars, or Star Trek, or GI Joe, or the newest gun, computer, stereo speaker, (toys) etc…
So ladies beware, if you ask a man what he is thinking, don’t be surprised to get sex or GI Joe as your answer.
Family Circus:
Me:
Well I’ve been working a lot. It turns out that I owe the Oklahoma a little over a grand in taxes because my employer stop withholding for OK. My friend Matt is finally coming to visit next month.
Parents:
They are moving here on June 1st. Please keep them in your prayers.
The Hecks:
Brian enlisted the help of TJ and I to surprise my sister Beth for her Birthday. It worked. I’ll tell you about it next time.
Sadie’s Kennel:
Well I couldn’t go for walks the last few days because I skinned my paw. It hurt and Jesse had to cut off the flapper. I also have the sneaking suspicion that Jesse will be taking me to the vet for shots soon. I hate shots. I can’t wait for the weekend, because my paw feels much better, I have a lot of play time to make up.
posted by Jesse | 6:56 PM
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